Why Don't I Let You Love Me

I wrote a song after I had studied 1 John. I read the phrase 'in the light' with a different perception than I had previously. You know when a cartoon character gets an idea, and you see a 'light' go on? Or when you come to understand something you are said to have been 'enlightened'? You can also look at this the opposite way. If you don't have any idea what is going on in a given situation, you can be said to be 'in the dark' about it. I discovered that if I read the phrase 'in the light' to mean 'knowing the truth', it opens up a whole new perspective for me in the book of 1 John.

1 John 1:8 says (my paraphrase) if anyone says they have no sin, they deceive themselves..and there is no truth in them. There's that theme... in darkness....not really knowing the truth. So to me that would also mean that the more truth we know....the less we will sin. So our job is not to concentrate on not doing the sin...but instead...get to know more of God's truth. (and as a result, get to know God....God is truth) Anyway if someone did say they had never sinned....they would be calling God a liar because He says we have sinned! But when we fall, as we all do, God promises to forgive us as we admit our wrongs to Him. That is, not only asking for forgiveness, but also seeing the truth that it was wrong and admitting that. (agreeing with God)

Two kinds of people admit it when they were wrong. Some people admit they are wrong, ask for forgiveness, pick themselves back up again, and continue to do there best to live right. Other people admit they are wrong...but they try to punish themselves. Not only do you not have to punish yourself, but to do so means you are trying to take God's place! Only God is worthy enough to do any punishing for your sins. But to punish yourself also means that when Jesus took your punishment for you it wasn't good enough and God needs your help in paying the price for your sins.

But 1 John 2:3-5 tells us how we can test ourselves to see if we are truly 'in the light'. To see if what we know is actually the truth of God. How much do we really know God? (my paraphrase: If we obey God's commands, we know the truth. If we say we know Him, but we don't obey Him, then we don't truly know Him.) Those who obey Him are the ones whose love for God has been made perfect. As we get to know Him He does this. And what are His commands? 1 John 2:7 says

"...this command is not new, it is the old one that you have had from the very beginning".

then 3:11 says

"The message you heard from the beginning is this; we must love one another." (good news bible)

So then if we truly know God, who is love, then we will obey His commands. And His commands are to love Him with all our hearts and to love others. All God's commandments are based on this principle. You cannot break a commandment (sin) and love God and others at the same time, and vice versa. So I believe our sin problem is a love problem; which only explains how our sin (lack of love, or selfishness) separates us from God (who IS love). So you could also say our lack of love, separates us from love. Again we see that in order to obey God more...we must get to know Him more. We must get to know love in order to walk in it.

There is also another test in 1 John 1:9-11. (my paraphrase: If we say we are in the light, we know the truth, and we know God, but we still hate others, we are really still in the dark and don't know God.) If we knew God, we'd know the love He has for others, to the point that if we love Him, we also love others. The more we love God, the more we love Him. We love God because He first loves us. His love for us is there whether we receive it or not. We receive it by believing it. But how can we beleive it unless we find out about it? How can we find out about it if we don't get to know Him more?

So....I discovered that if I concentrate on not sinning, I fall under condemnation every time I fall. I am too weak to live perfectly by my sheer will power. (Not to mention sinning by mistake, and sinning without even knowing I did so!!) But the answer, at least to me from reading 1 John, seems to be this:

If we get to know God and beleive Him, we get to know His love for us.
If we get to know God we also get to know His love for others.
If we get to know His love for us, we love Him more.
If we love Him more and know how much He also loves others, we love others also.
If we love Him and others more, we sin less.

Think about it....any sin is either done against God directly....or else it is something done against others. The more you love someone, the less likely you are to steal from them or harm them in any way. The more likely you are to help others too.

The only way to sin less, is to love God and others more. The only way to love God and others more is to know God and know how much He loves us and others.

As we get to know Him more...He perfects that love in us...and as a result we sin less. To me, that is what walking in love is. God is spirit. God is love. To walk in the Spirit, is to walk in love. If we are led by the Spirit (God's love), we will not fulfill the desires of the flesh. (romans I think?)

So in light of all this, seeing myself fall again and again made me ask the questions that are in this song. You don't have to suffer condemnation any longer. If you sin, instead of hiding from God, go to Him, ask for forgiveness, and get busy getting to know Him better. Get to know what real love is all about. As you do, His character will rub off on you and you'll find you begin to sin less. This part really really takes faith. Faith to believe what the bible says about God's love for you is THE truth. It's not easy to believe God loves you when you are full of condemnation and self disgust for your sins. And how does faith come? By "hearing the word of God"! Which, incidently, is also how we get to know Him!! The bible truly is good news!!

So Take Courage my friend! It's not the end!
Soon you'll be grinning, as you see your new beginning!

Other references from the book of 1 John are:
3:6; 3:9; 3:23,24; 4:7,8; 4:11-21; 5:2,3; 


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